I Desire to Be Rain
Read Japanese Oneshot Stories about Unrequited love on T-novelodyssey.
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I Desire To Be Rain
The rain of the depressing season falls in May. The rain isn't stopping, the wind is blowing, and the sky is cloudy. I watched the May rain while standing by the window by myself in the musty corridor during this entire ordeal.
"Oh! You were actually here.
She seemed irritated when she saw me in that position.
You weren't here when I arrived this morning, were you? What have you been doing?
Amane is her name.
We are always together because she is a classmate of mine. She was the kind of girl that everyone liked because of her upbeat and positive nature. In addition, she is my closest friend.
"A tiny bit..."
I respond cryptically and then look outside once again. The surrounding landscape, however, remained unchanged from before.
“Hmm.
I sensed Amane was getting closer while I was saying that. However, I pretended not to see it and continued to look at the rain.
Hey, what's the matter? Has anything happened?
When Amane asked me in a troubled tone, I shook my head.
"No. It has no value. I was only considering.
Amane didn't seem convinced even after hearing those comments, but She didn't press the issue further.
We then quietly departed for home. Rain is still falling. Between us, there is no discussion. Strangely enough, though, I never felt uneasy.
It actually felt natural.
My mum greeted me at the door when I arrived home.
Saying "welcome home"
I'm at home.
We move to the living room together. She suggested that since I was drenched from the rain, I take a shower. I hate how the uniform is stuck to my body.
"Mom, I appreciate the bath."
I returned to my room after taking a bath and yelled for my mother, who was standing outside.
Don't worry about it, I said.
My mother smiled as she stepped back behind the door. I left it behind and entered the space.
Sit on the bed and extend my back completely. I consider my feelings as I ponder the ceiling.
How come I did that? Even I don't know who I am.
I just couldn't take it at the time. I was unable to suppress the menacing emotions that were growing within of me.
"Haa..."
I exhaled a sigh. I despise myself.
Despite the fact that this has never occurred before...
"At the time, I was really surprised."
The girl in front of me was smiling wryly in my mind.
Her name is Mizushima-san, and she is a classmate of mine.
She and I were the only ones still in the classroom after school. It was silent because the other students had already left for home. She then abruptly opened her mouth, looked at me, and said.
"Are you fond of Kanzaki-san?"
I didn't understand what she was saying at first, which baffled me, but I quickly got it. It most likely will as a result of what occurred during your lunch break. I was obviously thrilled with the gift Amane gave me. No, my face was crimson with happiness.
"You messed that up completely, didn't you?"
The very thought of it makes my cheeks sting. I realize that now that I've calmed down. How simple is it for her to comprehend? When others view it, what do they think?
However, I didn't anticipate you to cry there.
I didn't want to cry, though. I suddenly started crying. I'm still perplexed as to why I sobbed.
I can only express my affection for her. I prefer her as the opposing sex than a buddy. When did I understand that? I don't recall it clearly, but when I recognized it, I was already in love with her. So I tried to express my feelings to her. But I was unable to tell.
It's easy to understand why. because she was previously a man's property.
Amane has a boyfriend. And that acquaintance of mine from childhood. He is a very decent and trustworthy man. He made her feel secure and content.
I must admit that I was delighted to learn that Amane was seeing him. My dearest buddy Amane's happiness was a result of my own happiness. I consequently sent my congrats.
But I also experienced a sense of isolation. due to the fact that I understood I could not be with her forever. When I realized that, I felt as though a huge hole had been made in my chest.
Everything in my life changed after that. My heart felt as though it had been torn apart by her absence. Such days persisted, and one day I went looking for her.
I want to grab her in my arms so badly. My desire increased steadily till it was out of control.
So, instead of confessing to her, I ended myself crying in front of her and saying things that made her angry.
Why did this happen, you ask?
The fact that he had other options makes him regret it more. But he occasionally still thinks. I believe that something would have changed if I had been able to communicate my ideas.
"No! You must possess strength.
Speak to yourself in a loud voice. I climb onto the futon and quickly fall asleep to avoid thinking any more foolish thoughts. But the tiredness never materialized.
After that, I tried to go asleep for a while but was unable, so I had to get up. It was raining outside in May, yet the blackness of the night did not engulf us.
"Should I take a stroll?"
Thinking that leaving the room would be preferable to continuing to suffer like this, I made the decision.
Pass the front of the garden as you leave the house. I raise my umbrella, but the side rain that pelts me is chilly.
There was a man standing.
The moment he noticed me, the man came over to me.
"Good night,"
That was said by Amane's father, who then bent his head.
I respond with a similar "Good evening" in return.
"Did you come to see the May rain?"
Following his line of sight, I too stare up at the night sky, Amane's Father stated as he approached me and turned to face me. My eyes were wet from the rain, but I didn't care. There was a cloud-covered, dreary countryside.
Yes, it is correct.
I give a tiny nod.
"Isn't it calming when it rains?"
I also said.
"Perhaps so. You made an extra effort to get wet today.
Loudly, Amane-father nodded.
Did you notice me folding my umbrella?
After Amane vanished from sight, I put the umbrella I was holding in my bag and headed home drenched because for some reason I wanted to be caught in the rain. It was pleasant.
"Oh, you just happened to walk by and I was allowed to see it."
He responded without any trace of remorse. Although there is nothing wrong with being observed, I felt rather ashamed.
Why did you act in that way? Did being wet appeal to you?
Father of Amane makes an odd query.
"I don't think so, no,"
"Then?"
"I'm positive that I don't comprehend my own thoughts. I might have wished to be Rain.
Is that true? Should we continue to observe the rain?
I was trapped in May rain the following day. Such a lovely and melancholy rain.
End
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